Quotes by Steven Wright
| If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would w ... | Read Full Quote |
| I went to a store and asked if they had anything to put ... | Read Full Quote |
| I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' writte ... | Read Full Quote |
| Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ... | Read Full Quote |
| You can't have everything. Where would you put it ... | Read Full Quote |
| A friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture ... | Read Full Quote |
| The Meaning Of Life The reason that we're all here is t ... | Read Full Quote |
| What's another word for Thesaurus ... | Read Full Quote |
| If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always ... | Read Full Quote |
| Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspe ... | Read Full Quote |
| My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. ... | Read Full Quote |
| I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the ... | Read Full Quote |
| Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot ca ... | Read Full Quote |
| I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. ... | Read Full Quote |
| I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't ... | Read Full Quote |
| It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. ... | Read Full Quote |
| It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is ... | Read Full Quote |
| If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer ... | Read Full Quote |
| Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replace ... | Read Full Quote |
| Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was usi ... | Read Full Quote |
| There's a fine line between fishing and just standing o ... | Read Full Quote |
| When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Di ... | Read Full Quote |
